Step 1: Denial

Friday night ended up being a good day. I ended up receiving an offer. I'll probably take it. However; Saturday was a little different. It wasn't that it was entirely a bad day, it's just that I started to realize/remember things that I didn't really want to.

Abe ended up having a few people over. We ended up going to the same club as last weekend. It was alright, but I wasn't really in the mood to club (really, when am I?). After returning, I went out for a smoke with one of our friends girlfriends. We just ended up talking about relationships and what not, and it was there that I realized/remembered how truly in love I am with Anne. A little side note: the tense of the verb in the previous sentence is correct. So, I spent the next couple of days thinking...

Before all of this happened, I wrote Anne, an e-mail to let her know of my offer(s). She never responded. After a couple of hours, I called her just to talk a bit. She was actually out to dinner with one of my best friends and his girlfriend. So, I let her go. She said that she would call me later on in the weekend. Needless to say, it is Monday night, and my call history does not have her anywhere on it.

Today, I had another interview up in Skokie, and afterwards I hung out with my little sister. She said that she doesn't think that it is fair that she shares everything with me, and that I don't share anything with her. I explained that it's not that I don't share, it's just that I don't have much to say. So, I then went on to tell here what was really going on in my mind and heart. I explained to her that I was depressed, but that I was absolutely in love with the fact that my family is once again in my life. However, we did talk to Anne, and BC (my sister's nickname), like always, knocked me back into reality. She asked me if I was in Denial.

Probably...

For those of you who do not know what I am speaking of, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed a model in her book "On Death And Dying", which had 5 steps:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

This model has later been called the Five Stages of Grief. And it took a 16 year old to point out to me that I was in number 1...